Eeee Eee Eeee

if i were to start a religion based on a text

the text would have to be that of "my life" by Lyn Hejinian
i have been reading it all weekend and like Plath's Ariel
it is so deep and sharp that one longs to build a chapel and to read it aloud
from behind an altar without useless dogmatic symbolism
forever with out food or drink till that long sleep death
truly stunning i regret taking so long to obtain it
and I'm sure it will be in my breast pocket for many years to come
tattered and worn and loved like the synthetic fur rubbed off your favorite stuffed animal from a distant childhood

little boy torn

When my love moved to the moon

I became a fish wounded by buckshot
rotting on a bench
with that specter loneliness
tortured by a yellow hum
not anyone dare touch me
after I gulp down the last laps of rancid water
and vomit up my hearts
all of them
i will beg the sun to stop all this brash light

dinosaur dreams

rockmuffin

today i saw a rocker totally decked out the hair the make up the ripped torn black t the tight bulge pants the leather knee high boots the bullet belt the chain wallet he was walking down the street in the sunny morning carrying a plate of steaming bran muffins it was so absurd i laughed so hard i almost vomited

its strange to wake in the morning and notice that what one always thought to be a weed actually sleeps and blooms like any actual flower I remember as a child rubbing the yellow into my wrist or blowing the spores into the wind let all of our lawns go back to prairie

I accept you

though you may be quite insane

not in the popular sense
all straight jacket and padded cell

talking to yourself

checking the locks over and over unable to leave
and
washing your hands until they are raw

no

its much more complex than that more self stimulating
like the thousands of parentless babies kept in an airplane hanger after the bomb fell on Hiroshima there were not enough nurses to cuddle them so they began rocking themselves
back and forth back and forth with thumbs all swollen
what a sight it must have been

you need to be touched and caressed
to be kissed and loved
my little bird
my prize

but you don't know that do you
crying
then rocking yourself to sleep

go away

the room is silent excepting the hum of the fridge and the shuffling of various appendages the party commences a book is rifled through
someone begins to read aloud the fridge stops its bland drone and the room becomes warmer though the heater ceased its breath hours before

another reader and another
some discourse about the text
then again another reader

wait a minute i have something important to say
(the fridge begins its awful atonal song)
no really i want you guys to hear this what i have to say is really important
(a chill fills the room someone gets up to turn the heater on the spirit has left)

for the next twenty minuets the idiot speaks in circles saying absolutely nothing like a dog chasing its own tail arguing with himself in a crowded room pontificating with fifty cent words
many laugh nervously some actually try to make sense out of nonsense a few stare at their feet or the floor waiting for it to end to return to silence to a calm reverence
the book is shut why bother opening it in this commotion this petty doubt

at some point we must pray after the tired jokes and boring puns have finally run out
real babies are dying of double kidney failure real mothers have broken feet the woman sitting across from you may have any number of cancers

shut up fool babble someplace else if you have no respect for our king nor your peers at the very least quit contradicting your own sweet self
just pray casual whatever

around and around we go all others in earnest
one begins and the silence and the warmth return
words seep slowly like sap then flow like tears

amen




no please sir
no really you imbecile
please just

go away

new shoes

who dont hate nike ? but they were only 9 greenbacks and you know tramps like us, baby we were born to run

I am sick

and making Felix Unger noises to itch my throat is not helping in any way
why is my stomach filled with dirt?
why are the crows so loud in these neighborhoods?
why am I always in love?
I am going to smoke so many cigarettes today that my sickness gets sick and flees
my ears are dirty
I need steam and lots of it
I am taking a stand against the dairy industry
very vehemently marching through the streets
maybe I will pay some homeless to march with me
down with tillamook down with dairygold
I am being absurd
I am sorry
no I'm not
I enjoy it
change all the billboards

"GOT LACTOSE INTOLERANCE?"

vos vos

virgin spinsters

will always be alone
untouchable
like clouds or moth wings

their priorities are all out of tune
looking for some lofty perfection
it dose not exist at all

I'm saying baby don't be so silly
your naivety is no longer interesting
it hurts my ribs

ideal is a daydream
you have been daydreaming for 30 years
about some life size poseable wire rubber doll that nods yes to everything
has clear teeth and tight mountaineering biceps
sweats green tea and builds impossible steel bridges across the oceans
continent to continent


at the montessori school I planted a tree
it stood strong and tall like me its branch veins reaching out toward the planets
I make beautiful all day long
so you call me when you are alone at night
and its strange because

its strange because I am yours